As I sit here, listening to the Pacific Ocean’s breeze
passing by our cabin’s open door, I’m pondering what to write and how to update
the ‘world’ (which in this case is very small ;)) about what is happening out
here in Pichilemu, Chile.
As is often the case with travels and journeys, though, I
feel more compelled to write about what I am learning thus far from this
experience. God often tends to packages trips where we are permitted to give to
others in combination with new revelations of what He is doing inside of us. In this way, I am blessed
to have received much thus far.
All this to say, if you are looking for a more factual entry,
wait for the next one!
So, I got here just last Thursday, after a long 20hr flight
involving 10 hours of laying on cold hard seats in the Lima airport overnight.
My friend Ness from Brazil met me at the airport and we went straight to
Rodrigo and Male’s house (good friends of ours, read their story here) in
Santiago. And the first thought I remember hitting me? How completely
comfortable and at home I felt taking a shower in their less-than-stellar
bathroom complete with water running either extremely hot or cold, and nothing
in between! Ahhh, so good be back!
Incidently, Rodrigo and Male are now doing very well, and
have an amazing testimony. When we met them before, they opened their house,
offering their only bedroom to us even while they had no food in the fridge and
huge debts to pay off. Male now is one of the managers at her workplace and
earning a good salary, while Rodrigo started his own micro-enterprise,
providing not only for his own family but also providing jobs to women from
low-income families. These women can now work from home, be with their kids and
earn an income!
Just being with Rodrigo and Male and their son Dani this
past weekend was a blessing in itself.
That aside, our first ‘event’ in Chile was going to a
conference in Santiago which we had been invited to attend with some of our
friends from Chile and the U.S. Ness and I didn’t know what to expect, but we
were blessed to get free tickets to the conference and felt it would be good
idea to go! On the first evening, a lady named Eleanor Mumford spoke, and the
one thing that stood out to me was how she emphasized that ‘we have to be
willing to go on this adventure with God and to allow His Holy Spirit to lead
us whatever it is we might do or wherever it is we might go. If we don’t, we’ll
miss out on the best parts of life’.
I nodded my head sagely, feeling that I already knew this to
be true. However, the last few days have been a testimony of how difficult it
is to truly be open to every adventure.
I’ve arrived here with lots on my mind, including potential
job offers, work, and various projects I’m involved with back home. And added
to that, things have changed a bit around here (more on that later)! All in
all, it’s left me a bit at a loss as to what I’m doing here and if I want to be here. I know, incredibly
spoiled and selfish sounding right? What has hit me though, is that I’ve
changed. That’s what revisiting old places does: it sets you to reflecting on
the ‘before and after’. Some things have definitely changed for the better,
others not so much. The past two years, through the struggle of lacking a job
and getting one closed door after another, have refined me. In fact, oddly
enough, I can say that I haven’t felt as content and settled as I have in the
past little while in long time. Yet, as our trip has progressed, I’ve had to
rethink my initial reaction to ‘being willing to go on this adventure with God’.
I’ve realized I really am not so good at that, nor do I understand entirely
well how to do that. I’m confronted
with the need to constantly have to lay myself down and open myself up to this
adventure. You see, as with anything in life that is unseen and uncertain, my
reaction is often of fear, of need for control and/or apathy and lack of
willingness rooted in pride. The unfamiliar and uncontrolled is not always fun.
And so I’ve been asking myself how willing I really am? I
recently read a blog entry of a friend of mine, in which she writes about ‘resistance
to the maturing process’ and how we often want to remain in the fun, carefree
and often clueless childhood seasons of life. Even as children we like to try
on a grown-up pair of shoes, but in the end we like to revert to our old
comfortable pair. And that’s exactly my conundrum. In this past year or two, I’ve
been given a new set of clothing, and new ring on my finger, and a new pair of
sandals (see the story of the
Prodigal Son). But everything in me now says, ‘I’m not ready!’ I’m griping
about how the shoes don’t feel comfortable and don’t fit, and in the process I’ve
taken a seat and decided to ‘sit out this dance’. And then, much like a pouting
child, I’ve also taken on the attitude of feeling left out and acting like no
one wants to dance with me (when in reality it is the other way around). Are
you following me?
My basic challenge right now, as we are in Pichilemu and Espinillo, is to allow God to take me on this adventure, to wear
the clothes He’s given me for this trip (and those to come) and to not be
limited by my own lack of maturity or past grievances! I am ready, but not because of me, but because of Him who has given
me a new Spirit, and Spirit of life and not death (see Romans 8).
Time to be “more than a conqueror”!
More interesting news to come soon….;) I've posted a few pics to tantalize your senses already!
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