Antsy

Ahh yes, the infamous blog....I have to confess, I've been avoiding this. After coming back from my last trip to a children's home in Mae Hong Son, my body decided it was time for shut down, both physically and mentally. So I listened to it, albeit a bit grumpily, and have been taking it slow n easy. Which surprisingly, wasn't the easiest task! For someone who is usually quite slow at home, able to spend a lot time doing well...nothing of real importance, I just was wanting to leave again, get my hands on something to do, something fun to see, interesting people to visit. I think I experienced what you could call the "go go go and crash" syndrome, where the minute you stop, its like your on full stop and your body crashes.
Anyways, haha that's rather uninteresting to read. So Songkran, the Thai water festival celebrating the New Year, was being celebrated in full swing when I got back, and I although I did get to see some of the fun, I have to no pictures to testify :(. I had wanted to wrap up my research stuff, get last minute documents, go over interviews, ask any last questions. But well, a holiday is a holiday! And some now its over a week later, and yes I'm almost done with my wrap up, but its slow going. The last thing will be on Sunday, where I will go over my findings with one of my contacts, check if I'm on the right track etc. And then I'm done, yay! Well with this part at least....oh the joys of writing a thesis when I get back.
Mae Hong Son by the way, was quite a fun experience, though also very HOT. The children's home is a 5 hr ride by minivan into the mountains. It usually has some 30 kids, but there were only about 11 as many had left for the holidays to visit relatives, or even parents in some cases. Although some kids really have nowhere to go, I was admittedly surprised that they just get to "go visit relatives". The situation for these kids seems to be one where being in a children's home is just more beneficial in terms of getting education, getting food and a roof over there heads, than if they were living at home or with relatives. But it doesn't leave the impression that these kids are the 'worst off'. But there were a few, like the cute 8 yr old boy, Ot, that are orphans, or don't have papers and so have to stay at the home during holidays. It was however hard to grasp how these kids landed in the home, and again, how the intricate and closed web of networks among the Shan worked in connection with the Home. The children all speak Shan, learn to read and write it too, and living in Mae Hong Son, a notoriously Shan area of Northern Thailand, really added the feeling that these kids were really growing up with a more solid Shan identity than in other areas.
So the english speakers there were limited, with the one girl that was translating for me leaving mid-way on a mysterious 5.30 pick-up ride to Chiang Mai. Yes, that was the only way she could get around b/c of her paper situation. I only got 2 real interviews, but in all honesty that was good enough. I got to eat delicious Shan food, and take the kids swimming as I was the only driver they had, and sit vegging in the coolest room on the place watching Thai dramas most afternoons, whilest teaching the kids some card games. It was relaxing and enjoyable, with as usual the only drawback being not knowing the language. But the 2 eight-year olds took it upon themselves to teach me some Shan words, pointing at their ears and saying "hoong" and so on and so forth till we covered most everything within a 5 meter radius! The 8 yr olds were easier to connect with, as the barriers of respecting your 'elders' (as I was considered ;-)), were quickly broken for distracting fun. The older ones instead would insist on getting my plate of food for me at every meal, setting a place apart for me, almost afraid to sit with me. This was their way of 'respecting' me, though it was difficult for me to comprehend how deeply this is ingrained, and that they were not to be deterred.
Also fun was seeing Poi Sang Long, the Shan novice monk ordination ceremony, which basically amounts to one big celebration in the community.
I also met up with a fun Canadian gal there, providing a refreshing break form the Home.
That was Mae Hong Son. What have I been doing now? Well, after Songkran week and 'crashing', I have been doing various sorts of random. The weather has become unbearable, so I've resorted to sitting in various cafes with my laptop to get work done. I met up with a few friends and contacts, kind of concluding my time here, saying goodbye. My hardest one by far was Bee, the wonderful Singaporean lady who took me on several trips, visiting Shan communities. I did a wrap-up interview with her, and then just caught up a bit as I hadn't seen the busy lady for a few weeks. I managed to stay dry-eyed, but when I headed back to my guesthouse in town, it hit me that I had just said goodbye. Weird how you can get so connected to someone in such a short time. One thing I will always hate, is saying goodbyes. I don't do well with them, and prefer to get them over quickly, kind of shut off my connection to a people and place without dragging things out, not look back. This time, I haven't been able to do that with this trip. I've been doing some fun things here in Chiang Mai this last bit of time, browsing the night markets, picking up a few gifts, getting a massage, going on a random motorcycle ride into the hills with a Thai friend I met, etc etc. But its dragging a bit too much for my tastes. So tomorrow I finally have my last 'meeting', will purchase my tickets, and leave early Monday morning. I'm heading off to Burma, for 3-4 day trip into one of the areas they do let you visit in Shan state. Then, get back, grab my big backpack and catch a night train to Bangkok, and fly off to Amsterdam the next day! Strange, is the only the word to describe my feeling right now.
I'll let you all know how my last week went when I get back, along with a last piece on my 'impressions'. It'll probably be written on my long layover at the airport :-).