Last Impressions.....

I wrote this at the airport, leaving Thailand. But I thought to share it anyways...

My time here in Thailand has been just a great experience. I say that with true meaning. Not because it was all fun or easy, it certainly wasn’t. But the dynamics of this trip were once again different from other trips I've taken. I learned a lot about myself, my limits, what I was capable of, learning again through landing somewhere completely on my own, working towards a goal and not just ‘touring’. And I learned a lot about and from other people, from the various angles on life. I picked up the Bangkok Post just now, for a last read, and as I see the world news, I realize that there is so much going on around that world that just seem like looming problems and tragedies. But as Ann on the train said, loss and hardship is a part of life. And in many ways it is. But its what we do with it, how we act on what we see and know, that counts. And that is something I have seen firsthand here.
I don’t know where I’m off to next, what my future holds. I’ve had many people ask me already. But I’m more sure than ever that I don’t want to get stuck in the bubble of ‘me’. And although I once said research wasn’t my thing, I have to say this trip has been an important part of me figuring out where my interests lie, to make more concrete where I may want to head into after I finish my thesis. I really enjoyed meeting so many Shan people, getting to hear their life stories, figuring out the puzzle of the dynamic political and social situation that they have fallen in and come from.
As for the Shan, I think in many ways I have come out of this with more questions than I came in with. I think I could answer my research question, but my own questions go much further than that. I admire their resiliency, their culture, their language, yet I wonder what their future holds. There is so much chaos, and lack of transparency mixed in with their social networks, its hard to grasp whether a good policy could be formed toward the Shan and other people in similar circumstances. But I do see the importance of people hearing about the Shan, about Burma, and giving that more attention. Hopefully, those who have followed this blog will grasp just a bit of how these people have been placed on my mind and heart, and will feel a bit the same. Thanks for the read peoplez!!

Planes, trains and automobiles….

Sound familiar? Actually, the heading should say something like buses, motorcycles, songthaews, trains, and planes. That is a good summary of where I’ve spent most of my days this past week: riding various forms of transport! Somehow, my body has survived it and my butt isn’t bruised yet.
After purchasing my tickets, packing a light pack for my last adventure, and having my last ‘meeting’, I hopped on the 6:00 bus to Mae Sai bright and early Monday morning. I had been told it was not such a wise idea to head off to Kengtung, Burma on my own, especially since I didn’t know any Shan, Burmese, Chinese or Thai (all of which can be used apparently). Unfortunately, I am proficient in none. But oh well, since when has that stopped me from going anywhere? My plan of action was this: get to the border early enough that I could get through immigration, purchase my 14-day visa to Kengtung, and catch a shared taxi that would get me to Kengtung before dark. Well, I got my visa just fine, though it did involve having to cross over and get some passport photo’s made first and then heading back through the fray of hagglers to pick up my new and beautified I.D. to Myanmar. Then I got some money exchanged, which resulted in the biggest wad of Kyat bills, making me feel slightly well, criminal?, and quickly bought some nearly-expired snacks at the local store. My next mission: a taxi. Yeah, well, good luck with that. I of course, had no choice but to ask where to find a taxi, and that of course, resulted in a rip-off. Take a motorcycle taxi to the taxi stop right across the road and pay 20baht? Yup, that’s what I did. Sucker! The taxi to Kengtung was also charging a whopping 4000baht to get there. Uhhuh, this student just ain’t that rich…or stupid. Though I was quickly regretting my stupid decision not to take the 800baht taxi pre-arranged by the immigration officer. Okay, next. They kindly told the only farang lady walking around to head to the bus station, and catch a bus to Kengtung. I capitulated, figuring getting there was better than getting stuck in a border town like Tachilek. The ‘bus station’, was a random old tour bus parked at the side of the road outside a shop somewhere. On my way there an older Burmese gentleman shared with me that the Dutch were good people, having sold them guns. I thought, guns? When? He said, oh before WWI. Ahh okay…wayyyy before my time, and even his, haha. Bought my ticket on the Shwe Myo Taw Express, and settled in for the ride, at a relatively cheap rate of 320baht. Though Tachilek was a bit of a dingy, busy border town, offering cheap cigarettes and who knows what else, I wasn’t feeling like things were too terribly different from Thailand. 5 ½ hrs later, I was thoroughly immersed in Burma, having finally made it to Kengtung via the not-so-‘express’ bus. Old karaoke tunes were blaring on the big TV (either in Shan or Burmese), as we went through about 4 checkpoints, I.D. cards all assembled neatly in a photo album for the officers to flip through as we came through, while the bus attendant ran around getting stamps and I strongly suspect, paying some people off, and others proceeded to check belongings. No cheery hellos here, though a semblance of normalcy was definitely the act of the day. Our bus driver spoke in a comically high-pitched voice while spitting chew out the window and sitting in his traditional Burmese longgyi (skirt), easing the old bus through the winding old one-lane paved road (officially titled the Myanmar Tollway Co., LTD). I was never once directly addressed, though I garnered I was talked about every once in a while, and I still felt pretty safe knowing that I had left my passport at the border and the bus attendant was holding my documentation.
We arrived in Kengtung (pronounced Chiang Tong) at about 6, and luckily an English-speaking older gentleman asked me where I wanted to stay, only to ‘suggest’ the government-approved guesthouse across the street. I checked out the room ,seemed fine with a bed and a fan and a shared bathroom. I wasn’t exactly going to be picky, otherwise I wouldn’t have come this way. 300baht a night including breakfast, and she would hold my documentation. Then I proceeded to hunt down some food, as I hadn’t eaten a proper meal all day. The only thing was, the streets were ghostly still, with a few lit places scattered here and there. I gave it a shot anyways, receiving many a bold stare doing so, but managing to get a map of Kyaingtong from a kind hotel lady who also pointed me to the only open restaurant across the way. Food eaten, I decided further exploring was best left for the daylight of tomorrow. My guesthouse meanwhile, had been powered up with electricity via a loud generator out front. Ahh, somehow I felt like I was back in Afghanistan! Weird how things like generators can bring back memories.

At 6 the next day, people were up and moving. And I was ready to make the best of my short time there and go exploring. After receiving a fairly good breakfast, I was off. I decided to really act the tourist this time, and ignore any and all stares and just go for it. As a mini-parade procession wound down the street beside me, I headed up to my first stop, the Wat Jhom Kham, known for its elaborate adornments. Indeed, it was a fun sight to behold, and I could well see how the murals on the walls and the bejeweled entryways probably held many rich stories of the past. I also got a great view of the green fields and emerald hills around Kengtung. The ladies I passed on the road had traditional Shan clothing on, also on their way to a local celebration at a temple, Shan drums beating in the background. They stopped and gave me some lovely smiles. Kengtung holds a mix of many different eras and cultures. It has some of the old British influence, with old colonial buildings and churches, it also has the Burmese pagodas, the Thai Lanna culture, Chinese, and of course Shan culture. All in all, a very pretty town. I could see how at one point it may have been flourishing, but there was a certain deadened air as I passed sparsely filled shops, many closed grates, and certainly no fancy cars, cafes, or 7Elevens, let alone more than a few restaurants. Many drive old vehicles of decades past, engines sputtering, and the new version of a tuk-tuk or a songthaew was an old 3-wheeler or a motorcycle taxi. Nearly all the men and women wear the longgyi. And while in Thailand I would get plenty of hellos or even would be haggled and honked at by passing tuk-tuks, there was no such overt greeting here. They looked, yes, but they didn’t bother me whatsoever. Only the kids were curious enough to say hi. Having seen most of the town by 11, I had some lunch, bought some Shan karaoke for the heck of it, and then on a whim managed to hire a motorcycle taxi to take me the old colonial station called Loi-mwe. Little did I know that it would be an 1-hour drive on a winding dirt road at breakneck speeds way up into the mountains, 1600m above Kengtung. Yup, my hand was feeling a bit bruised from holding on so tight, and I said a quick prayer and decided to enjoy the trip for what it was: an adventure. And boy, the scenery alone of paddy fields, rising mountains, and a valley town far below, were well worth it. We got there, and I was offered a cup of coffee, the Akha lady pointing at a ritz of instant coffees hanging from a poll under the hut. Yup, that one’s fine, I indicated. I was soon surrounded by a 4 Akha ladies, with Burmese takhana (sunscreen from natural bark tree) smeared on their cheeks, all smiling and nodding their heads at me. They wanted to know where I was from, and indicated that my white skin was ‘suay’. The driver didn’t speak much English, but the mustached Burmese soldier that came along and sat down across from me, smoking his cigarette, managed to ask where I was from. I asked him where he was from, and he said Yangon. Me, I’m from Holland, Amsterdam. With a bit of conferring amongst themselves, I think they figured out where that was. Meanwhile, the single phone for the locals was ringing next to me.
Quickly visited the pagoda, then saw some of the old British homes left from the colonial station, while hobbling down old cobblestone roads. All in all, unimpressive. On the way out, however, I got to participate in what I believe is the first bribe of my life. It went like this. When coming to Burma, foreigners have to say exactly what area they are going to, being restricted to the Kengtung-Mongla area of Shan state in this case. Loi-mwe falls a bit in a gray area apparently, as what I read about visiting it said that although one wasn’t supposed to head far out of Kengtung, no one would care if I went to visit Loi-mwe. As we headed in though, past the army gate, I heard a small yell and a whistle blowing as we zoomed past. I thought, okay, well the driver not stopping so it should be okay. On the way out though, it turned out it was not so okay. The gate had been pulled down, and the officer stopped us, proceeding to thoroughly lecture the driver as he nodded, smiled, trying to appease the officer a bit, all the while chewing his tobacco (or whatever it was). At last, when I was asked for my passport and I said I didn’t have one, and that guesthouse I was staying at had my Myanmar I.D., it was indicated that we should sign our names on a list and indicate where we’re from, and then the number 1000 was written on a piece of paper and pushed my way. 1000 kyat please, says my driver. Okay, fine, 1000 kyat it is. I pay, nods are exchanged, and as easy as pie, we were off again. I can’t say I was entirely impressed by the experience, and as we headed down the mountain and passed by the road laborers I had been told work in very oppressive conditions, and as we passed by various companies sporting the ironically titled ‘Myanmar Construction Co., Ltd’, or ‘Myanmar Electric Co., Ltd.’ and so on, I was hit again by the fact that I was in Burma, and the reins of power were held by one group.
Meanwhile, I also get back to Kyaingtong with the worst sunburn. A farmer’s tan really, and not only was it embarrassing and was I no longer ‘beautiful’ with my white skin, it hurt soo bad. No more wandering around, it was out of the sun and bed for me. I managed to get up at 6ish and ate my very last Shan meal at a local place, indicating from a row of covered pans which meat I wanted: fish, pork, chicken, or beef. It was absolutely delicious, yummy spices and all. As I walked away, I realized it was my last Shan meal and so it was all quite a nostalgic experience. I headed up a hill to see the sunset, and headed back to my guesthouse. I decided wisdom called for getting back to Chiang Mai in a timely fashion so I could catch my train to Bangkok, and so caught the Shwe Myo Taw Express out the next morning. The kind old lady beside me offered me her prunes and sunflower seeds, and everyone was a bit surprised when the clueless foreigner stayed on the bus while everyone got off to let the army search their bags. Nope, my bag did not get searched, and I’m sure my expression said enough. I briefly got my hands on my I.D. right before getting to Tachilek, while it had been in the hands of others the entire time I was there. After many bus rides that day, I got to Chiang Mai and aircon and bed by 9 that evening.
The Shan villages I passed on the way in and out of Kengtung, and up to Loi-mwe, were much the same as the one’s I visited in Northern Thailand. Mostly bamboo homes, clean and well kept. Passing through slum areas of Bangkok recently, I realize that although the Shan may be poor, they work hard with what they have, maximizing. Their’s is a simple life, but not necessarily a bad one. I did notice a few places that were fenced in or had the Myanmar army flag symbol at the entrance, but were in fact more like farms. Could these be a sort of forced labor site? Or relocation sites? I’m not sure, nor could I ask. Shan state from what I have seen, is certainly very abundant. And I can see how if they own a piece of land and are able to farm it and live off of it, the Shan are happy. The problem is that they have to give all profits away. The harshness of life comes from a lack of freedom.
Anyhow, so going back over the border from Tachilek, I experience mini-culture shock. I was suddenly quite impressed with Thailand, with the posh tour bus taking me to Chiang Rai, with the good roads, even with the kind officers at the checkpoints. Thailand is much like Burma, seemingly the same concept of life, checkpoints, same kind of businesses run, even the level of corruption etc. But the difference is like Thailand got the other side of the coin, and is a step ahead of Burma. Is what Burma would be if had more freedom. But maybe Shan state would be even more well-off than Thailand if it weren’t for its bad situation. The Shan seem to be a diligent, smart, quick people.
So I was glad to get back to Chiang Mai, get a good night’s rest, and actually get to do some much-needed packing of my things. Then a quick trip into the city, coffee with a friend, and rushing off to the train. This time, I was smart enough not to underestimate my time constraints. The night-train to Bangkok was uneventful, but a fun little experience. Met a nice lady sitting across from me, treating me half like a counselor after a bad break-up :-0. One does meet all kinds of people while traveling. Now, to get over this long, long layover at the Suvarnabhumi Airport! I was already happy to see the airport from the bus over this morning though, almost a feeling of nostalgia that I was finally heading off somewhere again, haha.

Antsy

Ahh yes, the infamous blog....I have to confess, I've been avoiding this. After coming back from my last trip to a children's home in Mae Hong Son, my body decided it was time for shut down, both physically and mentally. So I listened to it, albeit a bit grumpily, and have been taking it slow n easy. Which surprisingly, wasn't the easiest task! For someone who is usually quite slow at home, able to spend a lot time doing well...nothing of real importance, I just was wanting to leave again, get my hands on something to do, something fun to see, interesting people to visit. I think I experienced what you could call the "go go go and crash" syndrome, where the minute you stop, its like your on full stop and your body crashes.
Anyways, haha that's rather uninteresting to read. So Songkran, the Thai water festival celebrating the New Year, was being celebrated in full swing when I got back, and I although I did get to see some of the fun, I have to no pictures to testify :(. I had wanted to wrap up my research stuff, get last minute documents, go over interviews, ask any last questions. But well, a holiday is a holiday! And some now its over a week later, and yes I'm almost done with my wrap up, but its slow going. The last thing will be on Sunday, where I will go over my findings with one of my contacts, check if I'm on the right track etc. And then I'm done, yay! Well with this part at least....oh the joys of writing a thesis when I get back.
Mae Hong Son by the way, was quite a fun experience, though also very HOT. The children's home is a 5 hr ride by minivan into the mountains. It usually has some 30 kids, but there were only about 11 as many had left for the holidays to visit relatives, or even parents in some cases. Although some kids really have nowhere to go, I was admittedly surprised that they just get to "go visit relatives". The situation for these kids seems to be one where being in a children's home is just more beneficial in terms of getting education, getting food and a roof over there heads, than if they were living at home or with relatives. But it doesn't leave the impression that these kids are the 'worst off'. But there were a few, like the cute 8 yr old boy, Ot, that are orphans, or don't have papers and so have to stay at the home during holidays. It was however hard to grasp how these kids landed in the home, and again, how the intricate and closed web of networks among the Shan worked in connection with the Home. The children all speak Shan, learn to read and write it too, and living in Mae Hong Son, a notoriously Shan area of Northern Thailand, really added the feeling that these kids were really growing up with a more solid Shan identity than in other areas.
So the english speakers there were limited, with the one girl that was translating for me leaving mid-way on a mysterious 5.30 pick-up ride to Chiang Mai. Yes, that was the only way she could get around b/c of her paper situation. I only got 2 real interviews, but in all honesty that was good enough. I got to eat delicious Shan food, and take the kids swimming as I was the only driver they had, and sit vegging in the coolest room on the place watching Thai dramas most afternoons, whilest teaching the kids some card games. It was relaxing and enjoyable, with as usual the only drawback being not knowing the language. But the 2 eight-year olds took it upon themselves to teach me some Shan words, pointing at their ears and saying "hoong" and so on and so forth till we covered most everything within a 5 meter radius! The 8 yr olds were easier to connect with, as the barriers of respecting your 'elders' (as I was considered ;-)), were quickly broken for distracting fun. The older ones instead would insist on getting my plate of food for me at every meal, setting a place apart for me, almost afraid to sit with me. This was their way of 'respecting' me, though it was difficult for me to comprehend how deeply this is ingrained, and that they were not to be deterred.
Also fun was seeing Poi Sang Long, the Shan novice monk ordination ceremony, which basically amounts to one big celebration in the community.
I also met up with a fun Canadian gal there, providing a refreshing break form the Home.
That was Mae Hong Son. What have I been doing now? Well, after Songkran week and 'crashing', I have been doing various sorts of random. The weather has become unbearable, so I've resorted to sitting in various cafes with my laptop to get work done. I met up with a few friends and contacts, kind of concluding my time here, saying goodbye. My hardest one by far was Bee, the wonderful Singaporean lady who took me on several trips, visiting Shan communities. I did a wrap-up interview with her, and then just caught up a bit as I hadn't seen the busy lady for a few weeks. I managed to stay dry-eyed, but when I headed back to my guesthouse in town, it hit me that I had just said goodbye. Weird how you can get so connected to someone in such a short time. One thing I will always hate, is saying goodbyes. I don't do well with them, and prefer to get them over quickly, kind of shut off my connection to a people and place without dragging things out, not look back. This time, I haven't been able to do that with this trip. I've been doing some fun things here in Chiang Mai this last bit of time, browsing the night markets, picking up a few gifts, getting a massage, going on a random motorcycle ride into the hills with a Thai friend I met, etc etc. But its dragging a bit too much for my tastes. So tomorrow I finally have my last 'meeting', will purchase my tickets, and leave early Monday morning. I'm heading off to Burma, for 3-4 day trip into one of the areas they do let you visit in Shan state. Then, get back, grab my big backpack and catch a night train to Bangkok, and fly off to Amsterdam the next day! Strange, is the only the word to describe my feeling right now.
I'll let you all know how my last week went when I get back, along with a last piece on my 'impressions'. It'll probably be written on my long layover at the airport :-).

Wanderings

Well, here I am, in Chiang Mai staying at the same place I've been staying the last couple of times here. Tomorrow, I leave again, for my last official research-related trip. This time, its off to Mae Hong Son, an very mountains area in northwest Thailand (so no, I have not been there before). I'm going to and staying at a children's home called the House of Hope.

Songkran, the Thai water-festival, falls right at the end of this week though, so I'm wondering where I'll be, how transportation will be, etc. during that time, as it gets pretty hectic!!

But okay, so I'm sure your expecting just a tiny bit more than just info on where I'm headed off to next. However, I do believe I'm slightly blogged-out. I'll give a quick recap, and post a few photos, and that's it for this time I think.

Last week wednesday, after hanging around Chiang Mai for nearly a week, I headed off to Mae Sai, to a youth camp for the Shan migrant children (though there were a few other minority groups there as well). I took an 4 1/2 hr. air-con bus ride there, with Thai sitcoms blaring the whole time - and yes these sitcoms are well...unique, have their own Thai flavor shall we say-, and was met by a nice couple that has been working in Mae Sai among the Shan migrants for 3 yrs now. On the way up, I had already noticed that the checkpoints were a bit stricter, with every single bus passing through being checked thoroughly for proper I.D. cards etc. I saw one man holding up the infamous 'white paper' that most migrants get to stay here. Farangs on the other hand, don't even get asked for their passports. Once there, Samuel and his wife showed me around a Shan migrant village, and it struck me how set apart the villages here were, as opposed to other Shan areas I had visited. Here, they are really treated as temporary laborers, and Samuel explained that they are really dependent on and exploited by their 'masters'. That is how he called them, and indeed it seems a fitting title for a situation that is comparable to modern-day slavery.

The camp itself was a lot of fun....for the kids. I have to admit, I can count on one hand how many 'camps' I've been to in my life, and well, let's just say I've never been a huge fan for some reason. And indeed, it brought back that wave of feeling from back in the day. I think this was mostly b/c I came to talk to the kids, to interact with them etc. However, #1, I don't speak Thai, and #2, I was not given any defined role or task, so what happened was a lot of hanging around, kind of feeling like an outsider trying to tagalong or something. Which I guess I was, really. Ahh, well, its not that the time was unproductive. I got about 5 good interviews with the kids, via a very helpful young lady Jo who was willing to translate while also having all the camp staff tasks on her plate. And the kids were great, with the added bonus of the location being beautiful!
So camp ended on saturday morning, and I was trying to figure out my plans to get to Mae Ai, and town about 1 1/2 away from Mae Sai, to visit a development project among the Shan. Only problem was, I didn't really have a bed to crash on for saturday night, and I had two options: go to Mae Ai via hopping songthaews with my little communication skills or sit in a random guesthouse waiting until the couple I was to meet would pass through on their way back to Mae Ai. Yeah, songthaew hopping is the option I chose! It was a fun adventure. What was supposed to take 1 1/2 hrs, took me about 3 1/2 hrs. Why? Simply b/c songthaews don't run on time schedules like buses. Rather, they run at the whim of the driver. So if he wants an afternoon rest, okidoki let's wait. If he wants to chitchat at leisure with other fellow drivers, fine. If he wants to eat his lunch, alrighty. If he wants to wait for a ton of passengers to finally fill up his truck, yep that's cool. So I waited patiently, under a nice bamboo-covered rest platform out in, well, rural farming country aka the middle of nowhere. But luckily there was only one road to Mae Ai, so as long as I said where I was going, it got there. And for a very cheap price I might add! Less than 2 euros.

I stayed in a nice bungalow near the Mae Kok river in Thaton, the neighboring town, and then stayed at the Scott's house from Monday to Wednesday, which all was very nice and relaxing. I visited 2 local Shan communities, interviewing a few families, and brushed up on my English-teaching skills during my time there. Next to that, I got to see a slightly different approach to reaching the Shan, namely by setting up a more development-oriented project. The whole idea was to get the Shan to stand on their own two feet by teaching them basic health care, micro-enterprise (like raising crickets to sell), skills to get their roads paved etc., and helping teach the kids. I enjoyed this more hands-on approach, which really strived for involving the locals in improving their own livelihoods.

Yup, and that was that! Took an insanely long (though luckily not too hot) bus ride back to Chiang Mai, leaving at 2.30 and arriving at 7.30, a trip I had previously done in under 3 hrs. I hit the ground running though as soon as I got back, b/c I wanted to squeeze in some important interviews before weekend, leaving for Mae Hong Son, and the crazy holiday period coming up. I got the one I wished for with the elusive Shan Women's Action Network, and was quite happy! Now off to one more adventure, and then I get to look forward to transcribing, transcribing, and wrapping up loose ends as I got back over the last months of research! Yay! My brain in the meantime, is slowly starting to scream, overload! I thought to travel around a bit after all is finished, but well, after all this coming and going, I don't have much energy to go jet off again. I'm afraid would arrive back in Holland dried and shriveled up like an old sack of potatoes, hehe! But we'll see...

The 'In-between' Phase

Well its been about 2 weeks since my last post....alot and yet nothing really big has happened in that amount of time.
Let's see, some adjectives to describe the last few weeks: frustrating, fun, enlightning, and somehow a bit of a roller coaster ride (as in up-and-down, up-and-down). Hmm so to explain why all this...
Getting back from my trip up to Lak Teng 2 weeks ago, I realized that I was actually quite tired, I think from putting in a lot of energy in trying to understand what's going on, in quickly trying to come up with good questions when an opportunity shows itself, and in just constantly moving around and readjusting. So although I had hoped to quickly head off to Mae Ai and visit some rural Shan migrant families, it didn't end up being a good time for them and I have to admit, I was quite relieved. Instead, I got to meet some random ppl here. Tuesday I was taken out for dinner with Bee and her godson and his friend, and got an impromptu interview on how the friend fled Burma and managed to get his Thai citizenship etc. He has a more unusual case, where he was recruited into the Shan resistance army at the age of 12, even said 'hello' to the infamous Khun Sa everyday during that time. Then he decided he wanted a better life and came via friends/family, a whole network of connections. Here he landed in a children's home, but he does seem to have more 'inside' connections into what is going on in Burma, his father having been in the SSA, and as he states himself, he only knows the top educated ppl in and from Burma. Well, there's a whole story there, but he certainly seemed to think the answer for the Shan was no longer in the resistance movement but rather in getting education etc. A really good interview for a change, so I was a happy girl! Then they took me for some karaoke, though i didn't end up singing a single line as it was all in quick, unintelligable Thai! But u know listening to songs like "Thai girls" and mournful Thai love songs can perhaps be considered cultural enlightenment in and of itself ;-).
Well, next I got to hear some fascinating stories about people living in the more oppressive areas of Burma, Laos and Yunnan province (yes, some might be surprised at this, but government censorship/control is no joke). And so stories of different ppl i've met goes on...Although I did get to visit some big park dedicated to the King and Queen here in Chiang Mai, got to wordlessly point out vegetables at the local market so I could finally cook my own food, etc., that week consisted of writing up notes, talking to different ppl, getting a few practical things done and mostly, of waiting. Yes lots of waiting.

This is because I planned to go up to Fang next, to a school for Shan migrant children. First came the calls of whether I could come up, when I could come up, and how I would get around. By tuesday, I found out I was welcome to come the next week, and although I would have to bring my own translator and get my own form of transportation, they were happy to have me there for a week even. So okay, on to finding a translator and transportation. By wednesday, I know the translator I have contact with won't be able to come (which btw was not easy piece of information to get out of her), and so I call another contact. By thursday...well not much really. By friday...hmm okay let's send a sms, maybe another call. Saturday, yes there is someone willing to come! BUT...he needs to check with his boss or whatever if its okay. Meanwhile, I've got a motorbike arranged for getting around. Sunday, things aren't looking good, and right before I get an sms that the translator isn't going to work out, I get a random call from Bee saying 'guess what?! her son's friend took a week off and is willing to drive us around'. oh okay. alright, well that may be just the opportunity i'm looking for, so i take it.

Sunday was a long day, i was packed and ready by 11, and ended up on the road by 6. the time in between was spent waiting for a call and hoping that someone would get back to me on what was going on and whether we could actually leave that day. luckily Bee is Singaporean, so she gave me a call, but I'd be willing to bet that had it been dependent on her godson and his friend, I would have heard nothing, and might have been lucky if they showed by 6 and I was still around! Thai's btw, are infamous for setting a time to meet, showing up nearly an hour late, and if something comes up, not calling or showing up at all. That same Sunday morning I was supposed to go to a local church where they hoped to introduce me to some more Shan families, but I was stood up the Thai way, haha! Anyways, it all worked out.

So here's the quick and short of it: I spend Sunday and Monday and Tuesday night in Lak Teng/Kae Noi, where I had been on my previous trip. Then Wednesday spent all of 2 hrs at the school in Fang, and was back in lovely, congested Chiang Mai by 6 pm that evening.

Sunday evening was a loud and tiring ride winding through the mountains, loud bc of consistent Thai/Chinese music playing, sometimes Aussie, and tiring bc this guy drove at rather harsh speeds through blind curves in the night while I was sitting on the hard back seat - or bench rather- of his pick-up. Okay so that was my more grumpy, frustrating point of these past 2 wks, as you can tell.

Monday I was in a better mood, and met a few people in Lak Teng that I'd met before, and also met a new girl that had recently come from Burma. Yay, info for me! Also stopped by the Shan Women's Action Network office in Lak Teng, which offers medical aid (among other things) to the Shan ppl. The woman quickly sent the only English speaking worker away, and then refused to say anything about who they train and help exactly. She directed me to talk to the head office in Chiang Mai. Hmmm....questions questions questions

Also another rather shady thing going on while i was there, is that there were some plans being made to get an illegal who had just come from Burma into the village past the checkpoints so he could apply for a 'white paper', something equivalent to an asylum-seeker status, that is given out only by that provincial office, through some 'connections' (don't ask too much they told me, you better not know too much). one evening the guy wasn't there, the next he was walking around. everyone knew, but if asked no one would have known anything.

Now 'the boys', as I call them, got it into their heads that they had to stay for a football (as in soccer for all u Americans) game on Tuesday, and also there was a high school graduation to attend of one of the orphans Bee had taken under her wing. Luckily I couldn't come up to Fang on Tuesday anyways for some reason, so we aimed for wednesday and thursday in Fang. Tuesday morning I literally sat for 2-3 hrs not understanding a single word while Bee had breakfast with (consisting of stomach-lurching leftovers from the previous night which i simply could not get down that early in the morning) and visited a local family. then all of a sudden, her godson thinks to take me to visit a local waterfall! yay, something to do, but well.. it didn't happen. by the time things were figured out, we decided to go to the graduation first, which ended up being delayed by an hour and then was surprisingly long. there didn't seem to much interest in the graduation btw, with us and only 2 other families there, and kids talking loudly etc. just different ways of doing things i guess. what i do remember is that it rained quite generously that afternoon and evening, and it was so refreshing and surprising bc its not supposed to rain here until the end of May. i was taken on a short moto-cy (motorcycle) ride, i think to give me some entertainment, in the early evening and that was quite nice with the cool air and the misty mountains.

Well anyways, Wednesday up early and off for a 3 hr ride to Fang. Beautiful landscape too, and the Shan school when we got there was a surprise. Very simple, in the midst of a random plot of land surrounded by trees, with about 50 students age 4- 14, in 4 bamboo class rooms. They take care of these kids all day while the parents work in the orange groves, and though the school is not official, it gives them literacy training in Thai and Shan, and some math, and provides lunch in the afternoon. There are about 6 workers, with low pay, working more on volunteer basis. The kids of course were absolutely excited to see us, and adorable. The problem is that these kids will sometimes be pulled out of school by their parents to join in work on the orange groves, and even if they finish the program, they will most likely end up working in the orange groves anyways, with no paper to show that they have any kind of schooling. I got one short interview with one of the younger teachers that had fled Burma, but most of the kids were too young to answer our questions, not to mention we only had the lunch break to try to talk to them. Yet most kids were not afraid of saying they were Shan, and all spoke Shan, and when asked if they want to be Shan or Thai, they wanted to be Shan. This was an interesting contrast to the kids in Na Wai. But when asked where they were from, where they were born, again there was a little bit of doubt on how to answer. One 9 yr old girl shushed the other one when she said she was from Burma, while she herself said she was born in Thailand. Also the teachers questioned Bee thoroughly as to who I was with, what I was doing there etc., before releasing any information. Okay, so it was what it was. The boys quickly decided that there wasn't much more to see there and that they preferred to go to Chiang Mai that evening, and I had to agree that the situation of all of us with these kids during brief lunch breaks just wasn't going to get me more information.

We went to a 'Shan museum' next, which was a basement room under a Shan temple in Mae Ai, with old photographs, traditional clothing and instruments, and old scripts. Interesting, but certainly meager. I wonder how many kids even know any of the Shan history (when I ask most will not know anything), and if this is one of the few places to see it, it certainly isn't much.
We also talked to an old lady, her back bent from an old accident and worsened from sitting bent over her weaving day in day out, that served Khun Sa and was in the SSA along with her husband for years. Surprising was how easily she talked of crossing in and out of Burma during those years, and how the King had given this village for several families to stay in, basically granting them asylum, but she wouldn't really reveal much information.

Well so that was the extent of my trip. I'm back in Chiang Mai, and yesterday got another good interview with a young man living here in Chiang Mai, attending a school that takes in those without papers, giving them a student pass. But well, he is graduating soon, after which he has to return to the border village where he came from, as that is the only place he has a right to stay. His story was quite hard, talking of walking 10 days night and day to reach the border, then being turned away at the border, having his father die at this time, and then him living in the hills in hiding for years, everyone in the group that fled with him dying. On top of that, no one would help him, or give him work bc they said he was cursed bc everyone around him was dying. He finally ended up in a children's home, but was already around 15 yrs old by that time.

Interesting to note here, we had to ask for him to be completely honest about his story and to tell him that I was not there to threaten anyone or give away confidential information, before he told his story. And not surprisingly, I got a lot more information this time around.

Now on a side note, I met a team that comes twice a year to give medical aid in the rural villages of Northern Thailand. The doctor I talked to, who has been doing this for 10 yrs now, said that the Shan people show signs not only of malnourishment in the form of stunted growth etc., but they show signs of psychological stress, with random aches, headaches and among women especially, a enlarged thyroid/goiter. He says he came across villages where the Shan were especially afraid of coming out to receive medical aid, and once when there was news that the Burmese had launched an offensive, the community immediately became more paranoid.

Well, that about covers that last few weeks. I actually didn't mind going back to the same place I was before, it was nice to recognize people, to get a few more stories (some of which i just don't have room to write here), and to experience yet other sides of life there. Communication was by far the most frustrating, from silent car rides, to not knowing the conversation around the dinner table, to not being able to even talk to the little kids at the school in Fang on my own bc i needed a translator. I now really regret not learning more Thai before I came, or when I came, but at the same time, they speak a lot of Shan and Chinese and not even that much Thai in the villages. I'm all confused with all the languages i hear, haha! I've realized too, that I've become so focused on immersing myself in the local culture here, that when I meet other farang I don't know how to react anymore. Last night with the Singaporean medical team, I was able to speak english (although i didn't quite get to saying 'okay la' ;-)) and just shake hands, laugh more loudly, etc. But i somehow forgot what it was like to be able to actually partake in a conversation, and not just listen like a dumb ox. I also at first didn't even shake hands, just bowing my head a bit keeping my hands to myself, almost wanting to form them into a wai. Haha, now i know a bit of what awaits when i get home!
*I've put in just a few pics, but I actually didn't really take many, i kept forgetting I had a camera. I will get more pics from Bee's cam soon. Also, note that I don't put names of people in here, and so sometimes the story might be confusing. This is because I've been asked to keep information confidential, and I'm not at this point creative enough to give them all different names, so I automatically omit them.

A Good Week!

Here I sit, back in the comforts of urban Thailand, with a/c, internet, and a normal, flushing toilet! This past week holds many new stories and experiences, most of which I won't be able to post here. But it was a good week indeed!
I met the team I was going up with on friday evening over dinner at a food stall. They were 3 older ladies, 'near retirement age' as my contact Hong called them, from Canada coming for 3 weeks of Southeast Asia and visiting various projects of OMF.

Saturday morning was bright and early for me. I checked out of my guesthouse and lugged my heavy bag across town, getting slightly lost. I of course, was late, b/c time here as slowed me down even more than usual (though I still feel as bad as any westerner would at being late)! We hopped in a yellow songthaew, rented out esp. for this trip through the hills of northern Thailand.

Our first stop was at an organic farm of an older gentleman from Quebec, who decided to test out his homeopathic techniques here in Thailand. Who would have thought I'd be touring a farm, hearing how pigs are being fed and kept so as not to smell as much etc etc. It was interesting. Most of the workers on his farm incidently were Shan or Lisu (a hill tribe).

We hopped back in (well perhaps not all of us quite hopped), but you get the picture. We briefly stopped in Na Wai, where the team would be staying the latter half of the week. Then on up into the real hills, or rather mountains, of northern Thailand. Now this was the part I enjoyed, taking in the beautiful scenery, feeling the air get a little cooler...but perhaps winding through the mountains in a yellow songthaew with an open back and 2 hard benches wasn't the most ideal way of doing this :-).

But we made it just fine, having gone through 3 army checkpoints without a hitch, and first went to see a well being dug and then on to the simple rented house we would stay in.

To save some space and boring details, let me highlight what i got to see up in Lak Teng, the village we stayed in. On sunday I had the opportunity to visit a refugee camp (set up that way but not officially one), and spoke with the chairman of the camp. There are some 600 ppl living in this camp, and it is a fairly new camp, only 6 yrs old. It is basically a 2 roads of bamboo huts, 3 km from the border with Burma. The children there receive some basic education at a local NGO school, but don't get any papers recognizing that they received any schooling. The men and women all work temporary jobs, whenever there is a big harvest, some construction work to be done etc. It is all illegal. The children, after they have finished primary 5, will try to find some work, but also a lot of them will attempt to run away from the camp to the city, hoping to change their futures.

We also visited the border, where you can see the Burmese army and the Thai one, just across from each other on a hill. Next to the two outposts is a temple. The Burmese army is known to shoot at those who try to cross illegally, but once they are over the border, the Shan can seek shelter in the temple where the Thai police/army cannot touch them. The lady who took us on this whole trip, Hong, said she knows some young people that crossed at this very point on the border (i might be able to interview them as well).

Bc the team I went up with was a missionary team, we visited the local church (where 2 orphans live) and the team also held a baking demonstration there on how to make "fiiddel diidels" as the Shan pronounced them(fiddle diddles), a yummy chocolate-peanut cookie. I was more than happy to taste these!

We also got a chance to visit people in their bamboo homes, and heard various stories. I got to hear the story of an ex-general in the SSA, the resistance army, and also saw for example how one lady's sister had gone to Bangkok and left her daughter, not having been in contact since and leaving her to take of 3 children. I also got to talk to a girl who had recently fled Burma, and was studying in the village until she got her papers (she had money to buy papers). Here, children will often lie about their age so that they can either stay in school or go to work.
In this way, there are many stories to tell. Monday, I was faced with the decision to stay with the team and go to the next village, and perhaps learn some Shan/Thai and visit a few more people...or I could go back to Chiang Mai and figure out what next. So I opted to stay, and we headed down the mountains a bit to a place called Na Wai.

This village was completely Shan (the previous one was a mix of Shan, Chinese, and Thai), and about 2x the size. Most of the people here work on the local farms, planting and harvesting garlic, corn and rice throughout the year. In the afternoons, the team would teach english to the local school children, about 12 would show up between 4-6. Although I didn't really learn much Shan during my stay, again it was a good way to meet locals, hear some of the stories, and also to get in touch with a few more Shan kids. One couple was facing hardship because they were too poor to keep their 4 children at home and had sent them to a children's home. But now they wanted to get them to come back home again, meanwhile they themselves skipping meals during the day. Another lady, expecting her 2nd child anytime, had her husband working in Bangkok, while she had to stay in the village bc she couldn't get good papers.

With the children, I couldn't really communicate very well, and there was no consistent translation available. But I did try out the 'historical narrative' technique, where you get them to draw their past, present and future, how they perceive it and with the most memorable events. But well, it didn't quite work out. They were told to draw where they were born, and where they live now and what they want to be in the future, ha! But it was a good trial, for a better next time. 3 girls and 2 boys came from Burma, or 'a foreign land' as they called it, and 2 girls drew separate plates of food indicating the importance (and probably lack of) food during their time there and during their flight (this was what was told to me by the translator). What was perhaps most interesting, is that when some of the kids from Burma said, 'oh, I came from Burma' and 'we walked a very very long time', the other kids hushed them saying that they weren't supposed to say they were from Burma or talk about it, instead they are just Thai and were born here. These kids are taught early on (they were all below the age of 12), to lie about where they come from.

Unlike in the refugee camp, children in the villages don't really speak Shan much anymore, and certainly don't know about the history. They are taught to become completely Thai.
The children however, can go maximum to grade 9 in Na Wai, and if they have money can go to the next village and further their education. Otherwise they too will start working. Many of the children in the village wander around till late in the evening, and when I asked one girl who spoke a bit of english if she was going home for dinner, she indicated that there was nothing at home and that she was just going to hang around. We brought one girl home one evening, not even a far walk, but the drinking the went on in the evenings around the village made it unsafe.

Hong explained to me that the only way people make money in these villages is by sending their children, their daughters, to the city to work, often in prostitution, or by one of their children smuggling drugs. Apparently the prostitution street here in Chiang Mai is filled with mostly Shan women. Hong also explained that if a local family wants to buy an expensive home in the area they are automatically suspected of doing something illegal, bc that is they only way to get wealth, and so only foreigners can buy up a big piece of land or large homes. In this way Hong and her co-workers managed to buy a 1.6 million baht home for only 600,000 bc no one else would buy it.

Besides all of these stories and details it was good, as I said, to be out of Chiang Mai. I slept on the floor the whole week, and the nights were very cool. The food was delicious, and I just soaked up pieces of the lives of the Shan migrants during my stay. I enjoyed the opportunity! Who knows what the next one's will be like...I will leave again either tomorrow or wednesday, and will find out by the end of today where exactly that will be. Either to visit more Shan families or to visit a school set up for the Shan migrant children.

-->I've included some pics of Lak Teng, the border, Na Wai and the children

On to the next steps...!

My last entry for a while I think, as I finally managed to get a concrete plan and am heading north to a little village along the border called Ban Luang on Saturday. I'm quite excited actually, both to get out of Chiang Mai and to finally get further with my research. I will get in touch with children that have recently come over the border from Burma, and are living in a near refugee- like camp situation. Though it will be a short stay -3 days- it is a good start and might lead me to some other villages and contacts. From there I have more stops. I see this as the beginning of a bigger trip around north Thailand!

So tomorrow I'm debating heading up the mountain here around Chiang Mai called Doi Suthep, kinda as my last thing to do here b4 moving on...but who knows what mood i'll wake up in, haha. Besides that, I'm gonna have to repack all my crap, which of course I managed to bring unnecessary items that i'll just leave behind at a local NGO here.
Managed to visit a Shan wat (temple) here today and talk to one of the young monks-in-training via the translator I've found, Nam Pun. Though it wasn't the greatest convo, didn't learn as much as I would've liked, it was somewhat insightful in that it shows how the Shan are networking to provide the children that have no proper papers to get an education etc. Most of the boys there were recently come from a migrant farming community and from Burma, which does say something about the aims of that particular wat. Also, a wat is considered safe b/c monks cannot be picked up by the police, and on top of that Shan and Thai are freely taught in the wat with the added bonus of basic needs of the children being met (though of course this only counts for the boys).

And although I've mentioned that I'm not the biggest fan of traveling alone, i have found that in this way i am forced to immerse myself in local culture faster, and that is a big plus. Finding those yummy cheap food stalls, that cool fruit shake for only 10b, the little words and customs that make it easier to connect.

hmm, somehow my silly ramblings have reached a dead end now. oh i don't know if i mentioned the Shan migrant family I met here in Chiang Mai this week. Got to meet them through a guy named Mario Lao, who has set up a team to provide extra education/other needs to the Shan living in urban Chiang Mai as construction works. The families live in basic bamboo shanty houses, which have been know to burn down. They live on the land of their latest contractor, until the next job when they move on. Its an unstable life, and the major worry for the parents is that the children don't have a stable life and future. With the current way papers are giving to these migrants, children will end up with temporary work permits like their parents or will end up back in Burma with no proper birth certificates or any kind of citizenship there either. They basically end in a no-man's land.

Well, this gives more of a glimpse of the types of children I am seeing here. I find it hard though, to try to stay neutral, to just be 'doing my research', asking questions but not doing anything...it seems a bit hard to be treating real human lives as 'specimens for research', something i don't think i will ever get over.
--> pic: sunset over the hills surrounding Chiang Mai, and a take-away meal when i get tired of hunting down food 3x a day ;-). they've got some yummy, spicy food here, and i'm constantly asked if its too spicy, at which i shake made head bravely, saying "just a little bit but its good" with a smile, while my nose is running and my lips are burning haha!

Stories and Events

hmm, okay so its been another week. i have now officially been here for 2 wks, and i'm pretty sure i'm waayyy past the so-called 'honeymoon phase'. as i'm rewinding my brain through the past week, let me stop at a few interesting points. note: for those uninterested in long stories, i suggest a skim or skipping this post.
Brilliant me decided on tuesday afternoon to go visit the 'tribal museum', as it was advertised as a good place to visit before any trekking trips in the northern hills of thailand were many hill tribes reside (hence the title tribal museum). as i'm heading off to the northern areas in about a week, if all goes to plan (which it never does so no worries, i won't deceive myself). but the best part of planning i suppose is making the plans themselves, and then discovering how much more fun it is to throw the plans out the window and let some adventure lead you. anyways, b/c i'm heading north soon, i thought the tribal museum might be an amusing, if perhaps informational, place.

so as i walk down from my guesthouse, down the same little road with the myriad of mom and pop shops that i have walked at least twice a day every day, i signal a songthaew. a songthaew btw is a red truck, or what the thais like to call a red taxi, that u just hop in if the driver is going in the direction you need to go, paying about 20baht per ride. this is all well and good when the driver knows where you want to go, but my driver that morning had not a clue about any 'tribal museum'. "museum museum? ah okay" he says. i point on the map and even at the name in thai to show him its not just any museum i want to go to. he looks a bit confused, but ever happy for a customer, and of course a farang he might be able to charge a bit more from, he tells me to hop in. with some confusing pointing at the map and broken dialogue back and forth, he ultimately drops me off not about halfway to my destination, near the bus station and points me to a language center across the street, ha! okay so i was prepared for a little adventure of this sort, so laughingly i step out and head across the street to the language center, figuring it never hurts to ask. although the two students and teacher spoke english and were very helpful, they also were not quite sure how to help me, trying to teach me to say tribal museum in thai (something along the lines of pitipichipak chao dong) so i could tell the driver. finally one of the kids says, why don't you call the museum and ask them for help? haha. okay, no luck there. i head back across the street and flag down another songthaew, this one a white one which usually means the head out farther from Chiang Mai. I say tribal museum, he says okay, and i hop in the back. not 5 mins later (during which i had a glimpse of the thai perspective of gender and sexuality, i won't elaborate here) the driver hops down and signals for me to get out, we're here at C.M.! I'm thinking C.M., not quite familiar, but alright. C.M. is a big electronics shop as it turns out, and now i'm thinking i'd better just ask for directions on how to walk. inside a kind lady draws a map, and i walk in the heat for about 15 min., seeing a sign for Tribal Museum but no arrow. I walk into what looks like a big park, and decide to ask my 5th victim where the Tribal Museum is. She is a kind young lady who does not speak much english, but decides that she must walk me all the way there! This involved some short communication of names, where we're from, how hot it is, and that she really doesn't need to take me there, but that she really wants to. in the process we hop a fence (well she slips through, i have to hop it, hehe), and walk past a large pond whose banks are lined completely full of dodgy platform huts on the water. by dodgy i mean they could have been perfectly legit and perhaps even cute lunch/snack venues, but for the mounds of beer and other alcoholic beverages, the loud crappy music and the curious absence of many women, making them more what i would call 'seedy pond-bars'.

anyways, long story, but i finally get to the small building they call the tribal museum whom actually no one knows anything, wander around semi-interested but also gaining only one good bit of information: the Shan are not considered an official ethnic tribe, and so there was no information on the them, and interestingly this i found out later, also makes them even more susceptible discrimination, and makes them fall in a large gray zone legally speaking. One organization i emailed, IJM, actually said they can't do anything for the Shan in Thailand because they do not have any proper legal status to work with, unlike other ethnic tribes from Burma such as the Karen.
Well that was my tuesday adventure, and though slightly exhausting because of the heat (which is only get worse as thailand heads into the peak summer months), overall quite amusing.
Wednesday marked my date with Partners, a relief/development organization for the Burmese displaced people. Garnered a bit more info on what work they are doing with the Shan, which is only now really going into full swing, and is very much medically focused, and also more interestingly got some contacts with Shan people themselves. This happened by tagging along with a clothing drop-off at a rather vaguely named Sport Center supply point. Basically, this is a place where the Shan in Thailand are organizating supplies and funds for the IDP camps on the Thai-Burma border, and also where education for some of these camps is being spear-headed. Like I said, given the situation of many Shan in Thailand (and esp. recently with a migrant incident that caused uproar and deportation of many Shan), they are weary of questions and hard to contact, so this was a great opportunity to kind of get some 'insider connections'. I do however need to find a way to make these work for me without scaring them off.
One tid-bit of info i got that day that was interesting is that although the Shan don't receive much aid and fall under a difficult rights/policy situation, they do seem to be quite resourceful, are aware of their situation and try to be as self-reliant as possible in the midst of it. This, one lady suggested, in contrast to the other Burmese groups that are receiving a lot of aid and attention.
One thing i have a noticed as i read the newspaper here, hear from and read articles of the NGOs i have visited, and read some of the government's view on things, is that the situation of refugees and migrants in Thailand is sticky and unclear one. Every person involved sees it from one angle, and uses this angle to their own benefit. this is not to judge whether what they are doing or their intention is right or wrong, but rather to say that the picture of the Shan people here in Thailand and Burma is one painted in a variety of colors, textures and styles, invariably placed on the market to be sold to a target audience. i take nothing i hear for granted.
Thursday passed by with an afternoon of internet at a cafe, making phone calls for my upcoming trips etc., and trying to figure out more concretely how to set up some good interviews to get the information i need without offending, how i'm actually gonna approach the children, and so forth. from reports of others that work with the Shan, it all requires a nuanced approach.
Friday I met with a potential translater, a very willing young woman who because of university commitments and bad motion-sickness, might not work out so well. but we will see. she of course was trying to be enthusiastic, this being one of few opportunities for a job and practicing her english, which also happens to be her major at uni.
in the midst of all this, i have wandered chiang mai so more (i have discovered some great fruit stands, much to my delight!), switched to a better sunnier room, and have been taking things one day at a time. monday holds my first interview with a Shan migrant family here in Chiang Mai, and hopefully my last week in the city will be productive, will make more concrete my upcoming plans, and hold some good revelation on how to get good results for my research!
--> the pics: a songthaew, the mark on my hand from jumping the fence, the seedy pond-bars, and some interesting postings at the museum

A Random Weekend

okay, so its sunday evening and i'm a little restless. walked through an amazing Sunday Market as they call it here, which is a bunch of small stands with food and whatever wares they want to sell you. this is mostly silk, vibrant cloth bags and clothes, and various trinkets made of teak wood. the sun sets as the market starts up, and there's lively lights and people everywhere. i'll post some pics if your interested. which btw, if you know me you know i don't like playing the tourist, so i've also avoided all the many treks and tours advertized here like the plague. and although i love pics, and like taking them too, i'm a little shy when it comes to standing out with my really white skin and doing the whole 'foto foto' thing of all the major sights. but i've braved it these last two days.
yesterday, i went to the Chiang Mai Zoo. It was Saturday, i had gotten a late start to my day, and i needed to get out and fill up my afternoon a bit. so what better to do then....go to the zoo! haha, yeah. well i was already overheated by the time i got there, only to find out that it basically on the side of a mountain, and so definitely what you could call 'hilly'. did see some cool animals, and the zoo really was quite pretty, with a nice view of the city (though really hazy b/c of the heat, have to wait for a view and blue skies till it rains! good luck with that, hehe). yet culture here isn't as used to seeing single ladies walk around by themselves, and of course not at a zoo on a saturday.
i came home tired and sweaty, but felt triumphant at having gotten out of the city.
well, i have no idea what i'm doing tomorrow, but that's o.k. i have one appointment with an organization called Partners set for wednesday, and have already met 3 diff. ppl/organizations this last week. hope to fit a few more in this week, depending on if i can finally get in touch. somehow, even if organizations have a website online, those working pretty directly with the Burmese or the Shan don't like to give out any addresses. so much for dropping by! will be working on finding a translator as well. i did hear one very interesting tip: to go to a wat here in Chiang Mai called Wat Pa Pao, which is apparently the hub for all Shan nationalist movement etc. If i get in with a native Thai speaker, i might be able to talk to a monk and get some wonderful insight into the world of the Shan!
hope you are all well on all the other sides of the world!

Beginnings

So here I am sitting in my small room in a random guesthouse in Chiang Mai called the Green Tulip, with a fan cooling me off and the curtains drawn on my 'window' to the hall. With a shared bathroom, its simple, clean, cheap and great mostly for one reason: wifi. Okay, so travelling around the world isn't supposed to be about hiding out in a room staying connected to this sucking-the-life-out-of-people space called the internet, but i've found that when doing research abroad, trying to make contacts, trying to finish assignments for school,and overall attempting to be semi-serious about life and all its often crappy responsibilities, internet is okay. The key i guess is to ditch it when no longer needed (something i really do plan to do).
Anyways, moving on. Having arrived here a little less than a week ago, after a long trip from Amsterdam, thru Zurich, and then Bangkok, I'm still getting into the swing of things. But I am REALLY loving being away from school, cold weather, and what I like to call 'my average life'. Warm weather, good food, and relaxed atmosphere is def more my thing!
Picking up Thai has not been very successful thus far, with me only get so far as kawp koon ka, sawatdee ka, kaw thot, and an occasional name of food or places i need to go. this i find rather frustrating when i can usually understand and pick up more than 3 WORDS when i am somewhere.
In my attempt to get started on my research on the Shan displaced children, as I so naively dubbed it before l left Amsterdam, I have found that my topic is as dynamic and complicated as i feared it was back in my lil bubble in A'dam, as well as underresearched by any kind of young foreign students. So most reactions I've gotten are, so what exactly do you want to research again? and what's your plan of action to actually reach these hard-to-reach people? basically, i'm seen as either quite naive or a little odd.
given that chiang mai is popping with tourists and farang (foreign) students that want to study buddhism, thai massage and thai cooking at the gazillion wats (buddhist temples) and schools here, i guess my interests are a little unusual.
overall though, i am finding that this adventure is much more enriching than the life of an average student in NL. this is what i hoped for before i started my master's in Children's Rights in Int'l Dev (don't ask exactly what that means), to get out there and see what life is all about. too bad there happens to be research involved ;-).
my only pitfall: making contacts with diff. organizations, interviewing, etc. is one thing, but i really don't like doing 'fun' things alone. ahh well, this too shall be resolved shortly!
well, that's about all the inspiration i have to write about now.
till next time in the adventures (not quite perhaps) of a pseudo-researcher.