I can't really put it into words very well, it just feels like this rumbling from deep within that won't let me go. I think of Jeremiah 20 v.9 "But if I say I'll never mention the LORD or speak in his name, his word burns in my heart like a fire. It's like a fire in my bones! I am worn out trying to hold it in! I can't do it!"
I have a dream of groups of people going out into the world, praying into the situations and circumstances that effect the lives of man, and watching as GOD provides miracles and solutions to problems man cannot fix. Like the famine in Somalia... the first thing that came to mind, ridiculous as it might sound, was how great it would be to pray over bags of food being distributed and watch as GOD miraculously multiplies the food until the people are filled!
I want to hold on to these crazy ideas and dreams, because when I stop praying and believing, it will feel like the fire has gone out within me.
You see, I've seen GOD do miracles, in my life and in the lives of others. I've seen Him come through in situations that seemed truly broken, where no solutions or resources could bring an answer. I've seen Him work beyond the hands of man to truly transform and change communities in a way I would and could never dream up. And sometimes I forget, you know...and then I get little reminders like this one:
In January of this year I got in a -first ever for me- car accident, and I was found to be at fault :(. No one was injured, but the car I was driving was total loss (I guess the theme was, if you go, go all the way??). Anyhow, given my unsure financial situation, I was really worried about extra costs because the accident. Luckily the insurance covered most of the cost and I had just a small out of pocket to pay. However, in July a letter came in the mail from the insurance, stating that the other party was filing a personal injury claim, and that the insurance might not be able to cover all of the costs. Safe to say, I got a little panicky, envisioning getting stuck forever trying to pay off that debt! (Overactive imagination, I know). But so I just prayed, feeling I just needed to renew my trust in God's provision. Somehow I managed to pray "Lord, reveal your truth in this situation and let this not be used for evil. I put my trust in You, amen". So...fast forward to a few weeks later. We talk to the insurance and find out there was some kind of crazy story behind this case. The lady over the phone said, "I've never seen anything quite like it in all the years I've worked in the insurance business". As it turns out, the fraud investigation team at the insurance company found out that the other party had forged false records of doctor's visits and even surgery in the hospital (!) in order to get money. The team in turn contacted the claimant's lawyer and he said he wanted nothing to do with this and promptly withdrew ALL claims, including ones that may have been potentially valid (according the insurance company).
Amazing huh? This is my latest little 'hallelujah' story that lets me know that God truly provides.
I hope that in all things, I can truly learn to seek God and His answers for every circumstance, above any financial, political, legal or social answer out there! And yes, I'll continue to dream of teams of people going out to the nations, praying and watching as God moves His hand over every broken circumstance! (The current circumstance catching my heart: watching and praying for God to end sex trafficking). Many are already faithfully praying, may even more rise up and join His battle for victory!